


Fool, Forget Him

by neapeaikea



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 13:41:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12109938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neapeaikea/pseuds/neapeaikea
Summary: Kevin confronts Joaquin about lying to him, but even when Joaquin skips town, he can't hate him enough to let go.





	Fool, Forget Him

**Author's Note:**

> I realised there's never a mention on the show (that I noticed) of Kevin finding out Joaquin wasn't exactly truthful about their relationship, only that he was involved in the cover-up, and I wanted to explore that, have Kevin realise what we as viewers knew. Then that...somehow turned into wishful, dreamy porn. But hopefully I managed to keep that hate/love confusion that Kevin feels going throughout the fic. Maybe I should've delved deeper into just that conversation, hmmm. Anyway, I tried to infuse some more details I've picked up about comics-Kevin and yes, I made him like musicals. I could've tweaked this some more, but I had to post before S2 airs. 
> 
> Oh yeah, I always felt that Joaquin was a year or two older than Kevin, so that's mentioned here. 
> 
> Feedback is lovingly drooled on!

They split up, Archie and Veronica in Archie’s car, while Joaquin and Kevin are in Joaquin’s old Ford because when Veronica had called Kevin up for a double date, Kevin had had no reason to question it and had gotten Joaquin to pick him up. He’d been excited that his friends seemed to accept his boyfriend and were inviting him into their group, but as soon as they got to Archie’s it had been clear that there was not going to be a movie marathon as promised. Never in a million years had Kevin expected to hear Veronica reveal everything the others had known about the Jason Blossom case, and that Joaquin was somehow involved in a murder. 

Kevin had argued with Veronica first, but when he’d realized Joaquin wasn’t defending himself, he’d looked at his boyfriend and had his heart broken at the sight. Joaquin’s confidence, the smirk and openness was all gone, replaced by guilt, hunched shoulders and an aborted apology. 

He could’ve broken down then and there, yelled and cursed at Joaquin, but instead Kevin had gone into ‘handling-this-shit-right’-mode, falling back on the military-like way of dealing with things that his dad had taught Kevin throughout his life. Taking charge of Joaquin’s interrogation had been an action directly mired in Kevin’s firm belief that honesty and integrity matters above all else. At that point his own feelings had meant little in the face of cold-blooded murder and the grief of the victim’s family.

Now it’s been twenty minutes since Kevin realized his boyfriend has been lying to him from the start, and his repressed emotions are bubbling up to the surface. They’re a block away from the Andrews’ house, on their way to the motel Mustang calls his home, and Kevin is done putting his own problems on hold. 

“This whole time, you were dating me for what, a direct line to the sheriff?” Kevin spits.

“It wasn’t like that.” Joaquin protests, but he doesn’t follow it up with a pleading look, or reaches for Kevin, like he’s done in the past when they’ve argued.

“It wasn’t? I’m not stupid, Joaquin. You’re involved in the biggest crime this town has ever seen and months later you start dating the sheriff’s son.” Kevin shakes his head in anger. “Are you even gay?” 

“Yes!” Joaquin darts his eyes away from the road, giving Kevin an incredulous look, “God, how can you ask me that? You think I’d do the things we’ve done if I didn’t like guys? Didn’t like _you_?”

Kevin barely registers Joaquin’s words, “I should’ve known. When we hooked up at the drive-in, you got weird when I told you my dad was the sheriff. I should’ve known.”

“I was surprised! I didn’t know who you were when I went after you, I didn’t know the sheriff had a kid, why would I go around thinking about that? I swear it wasn’t like that for me, not at first.”

Kevin’s head snaps around, “At first? _At first!?_ ”

Joaquin curses and punches the driving wheel, “I didn’t… I never… FP found out and…”

“Congratulated you on duping an idiot teen. Gee thanks, Joaquin.” Kevin crosses his arms, glaring out the window. He has no desire to stay in the car, no desire to go speak to Mustang or get any more involved in this. He never wants to see Joaquin again. He’s been such an idiot, thinking it was cool to mess around with a gang member, fooling himself into thinking that Joaquin was a bad boy with a good heart, that Joaquin wasn’t involved with any of the heavier crimes the Serpents perpetrated. In Kevin’s head the truth had been that someone with such beautiful eyes couldn’t be more than a messenger boy, and there was no conceivable way Joaquin knew how to use a weapon or had beaten people up.

“God, I’m such an idiot.” Kevin mutters angrily.

“You’re not,” Joaquin denies sharply, “You’re smart, Preppy, so fucking smart. I really do like you, more than I should. That’s why FP was so weird at the party, ‘cos he didn’t know I was still seeing you, he thought it was over since you were no use to us anymore.”

“I can’t believe this.” Kevin sees the Whyte Wyrm fly past the window and wants to throw up.

“The next right turn, that’s us.” Joaquin says, checking in the rearview mirror that Archie sees him make the turn. 

They walk as a troop upstairs, Kevin fuming at the back. Does Joaquin really like him? Was he an idiot not to question why Joaquin kept texting after the first time they’d argued about the sheriff’s department’s treatment of Serpents? Is Joaquin still lying to him? Did Kevin ever reveal anything useful to him?

Shit hits the fan when they enter the apartment. Joaquin runs for the hills the moment he spots Mustang’s body and on pure instinct Kevin goes with him. Joaquin throws crazy looks all around him, probably wondering if anyone’s seen him, if he’s marked. 

“I’m driving.” Kevin orders, and Joaquin throws him the keys and jumps into the passenger seat without arguing. “Where are we going?”

“My place.” Joaquin says, “I need to get some stuff, then I’m getting the fuck out of here.” 

“What are you talking about?” Kevin asks, confused, because Joaquin can’t mean that, can he?

“Mustang is dead!” Joaquin yells, shifting around in his seat like it physically hurts to sit still.

“We don’t know that for sure.” Kevin points out.

“Oh come on! Wake up, Preppy! FP’s inside, Mustang’s dead… I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s clear anyone connected to Jason’s murder is getting wiped out and I’m next on the list!”

Kevin takes a breath, because yeah, that does seem to be what’s happening. “FP confessed. He hasn’t mentioned anyone helping him, or named any names.” He laughs, “See, I got that inside information you were after.”

“I never wanted it! I wanted you!” Joaquin reaches out, but Kevin flinches in anticipation, so the long-haired man lets his hand fall. “I fucked up. I told some guys I hooked up with the sheriff’s kid, FP heard about it, and wanted me to stay with you. But I fell for you because I’ve always been a fuck-up so don’t doubt yourself. You weren’t an idiot, because it was real. It was real to me.”

Kevin refuses to cry in front of Joaquin but it’s a near thing. He swallows and swallows again. The next couple of minutes are quiet. Riverdale isn’t that big, and Kevin knows where to go even if he’s never made the drive from this direction before. He hates Joaquin, hates that he could use Kevin’s feelings like that. Kevin’s told him how refreshing it was hooking up with a guy who wasn’t afraid of his homosexual desires. Apparently Joaquin was afraid of other things.

“If FP murdered Jason, who murdered Mustang?” Kevin wonders aloud.

“I don’t know, FP too?”

“Didn’t look like he’d been dead that long.” Kevin counters.

“All the more reason for me to skip town.” 

“Yeah.” Kevin has to agree. 

It’s only a few more minutes before they’re pulling up to Joaquin’s trailer. Joaquin’s been sharing his home with a rotating list of friends and family, people Kevin’s never met because Joaquin made damn sure they were alone when Kevin came over. Now Kevin wonders if it was because he was scared they would somehow clue Kevin into why Joaquin was really with him.

“You said I made you feel good.” Kevin says just as Joaquin’s about to get out of the car. “Not like, with jerking you off, but like a good... person.”

Joaquin’s eyes finally take on the beautiful, pleading look he’d get when Kevin said he had to get home from their dates. “You did. Fuck. No one’s made me feel like you do.”

Kevin turns his head away, “All included in the Keller package, sheriff’s secrets are just the tip of the iceberg. I’ll stay here.”

Joaquin doesn’t respond, but there’s a pause before he gets out of the car. 

It takes around fifteen minutes for Joaquin to collect whatever things he deems necessary. Kevin knows because he stares at the clock the whole time, but he doesn’t have the radio on. It’s more conducive to getting lost inside his own head that way. Joaquin helped get rid of Jason Blossom’s dead body. Wrapped him up and put him in a freezer. He’s known all along that Jason didn’t die the way Cheryl claimed. How the hell could he keep quiet about that? Has he kept quiet? Has he told someone else, and they’re the ones now after him? Does he mean it when he says he really does like Kevin? If he told Kevin he loved him now, would Kevin believe him? 

“I can’t believe I was going to let him be my first.” Kevin says into the air, flashes back to his favorite fantasy of him on his knees, Joaquin pushing into him from behind, those wide, expressive eyes stuck on Kevin’s ass accepting him in. Kevin’s young, he doesn’t need his fantasies to be more scandalous than that for his cock to fill out. 

They’d jerked each other off loads of times, almost from the get-go, and rubbed against each other. Blowjobs were introduced a short time ago, and just two nights ago, Joaquin had rubbed his thumb over Kevin’s hole. It had made him so nervous, but also made his whole body spasm in horny anticipation.

Just as Kevin’s dick is starting to get interested in the memory, the trunk opens loudly and Joaquin tosses his duffle bag inside. By the time they’re backing out of the trailer park, Kevin’s almost forgotten what Joaquin’s hands on his ass had felt like. 

“Where to?” Kevin asks. 

“Bus station. Getting on the first bus out of here.”

“Bus station?” Kevin frowns. “Couldn’t you just take the car?”

“Believe it or not, this pile of junk is registered in my name. If someone really is coming for me, or if the cops found out what I did, I’m not going to be brought down by being stupid enough to keep the car.”

“Fair enough.” Kevin nods, turning left up Maple Street. 

“You can just leave it wherever.” Joaquin says. “After I’m gone, it doesn’t matter what happens to the car.”

“I’ll leave it near the Whyte Wyrm.” Kevin sort of suggests.

“Yeah, that’s good.” Joaquin says. “Look, I wish that…”

“That you weren’t a criminal?”

“Jesus, I forgot how judgmental you can be.”

“Judgmental? I get to be judgmental when I find out my boyfriend has been using me to stay out of prison.”

Joaquin shuts up at that. Kevin fumes silently the rest of the way.

When they get to the station, they find that the next bus leaves nearly an hour later and is headed to some town in California Kevin’s never heard of. They sit silently together and wait. It occurs to Kevin that he could leave, that he could drive away and leave Joaquin in the dust.

“I bet you’ll look good in California. Get a tan.” Kevin says about ten minutes into their wait. 

Joaquin snorts, “Believe it or not, I burn before I tan.”

“I’d like to see that.” Kevin chuckles. 

Joaquin takes out his phone and Kevin’s heart starts pumping faster when he sees that Joaquin’s screensaver is a picture of two male chests pressed together, one with a tiny bruise under a rib, the other flushed red. Kevin took that picture of them after Joaquin had given him his first blowjob a couple of weeks back. He’d wanted a memory of the occasion, for posterity’s sake.

As Joaquin quickly scrolls through his photo gallery, Kevin spots a number of pictures of himself, some with Joaquin, and some that Kevin didn’t even know Joaquin had taken. There’s one from the night of the party, when they’d gone down to the river. Joaquin had kissed him so tenderly that night, his hands almost reverent on Kevin’s skin. It had been freezing cold so they’d just chucked their shirts up to their armpits for two quick handjobs and scrambled back inside the car after they’d finished each other off. They’d sat in the backseat, Kevin curled into Joaquin’s side, and they’d spoken about their mothers, about realizing they were gay, about whether Dean Winchester was a repressed homosexual or just a clueless jock who really thought there was no such thing as overcompensating. Before that night Kevin had thought that maybe ‘boyfriends’ wasn’t the appropriate label for them, but then and there he’d never been more sure of anything. 

In the present, Joaquin shows him a picture of his much younger self, shoulders red and face miserable. Kevin laughs, and his smile stays as Joaquin shows him some photos of his dad and _abuela_. Kevin reminds himself that he can’t trust anything Joaquin says as he goes back through the pictures, pausing too long on one of Kevin pulling a face. Joaquin glances up and grimaces at having been caught.

“I know you think you can’t trust me, but trust me on this, I did really like you, and you’re gonna be an amazing guy. You’re better off without me.” Joaquin says quietly, like he’s not sure he wants Kevin to hear him.

“Yeah.” Kevin sighs. “I can’t trust you.”

By the time the bus finally arrives, they’ve been awkwardly silent for half an hour. They’ve been holding hands for twenty minutes. It was Kevin that grabbed Joaquin’s hand and refused to let go. 

When all is said and done, Joaquin was his first love. He may hate him now, but it hurts like hell to let go.

He’s still angry when they say goodbye but, fuck, he needs one last kiss and it hurts so much because Joaquin kisses him just like he’s done for months but there won’t be a next one, and this one should’ve been special, but maybe Joaquin’s been saying goodbye all along, has been meaning to breakup with him whenever he got tired of playing with fire.

Kevin’s not ready for Joaquin to come off the bus, and his heart does somersaults, because yes, he wants Joaquin to stay, wants him to wrap Kevin up in his arms, wants him to come home with him and never leave, but all he does is give Kevin the weirdest tip of all time and then the bus is leaving and Kevin won’t get to have his first time with a boy from the wrong part of town with a heart of gold.

**

Betty jumps at the chance of saving Jughead’s dad. Kevin had sort of forgotten that FP, the villain in his and Joaquin’s love story was Jughead’s tragic dad. Yet again, he pushes aside his own feelings to do what is right.

He just wishes it all could’ve been done without him having to see a father kill his son.

**

Joaquin doesn’t pick up this time either. It’s Kevin’s third attempt and while he isn’t big on cursing, the situation calls for it as an automated voice informs him the number he dialed is unavailable. 

“Darn it.” Kevin mutters. This time he decides to leave a message. “Joaquin, please call me. We saw the murder, there was a flash drive in the jacket you told us about. There was a camera in there the whole time, filming Jason, filming everything. Call me. Please.”

It’s been a few hours since they said goodbye, since Joaquin kissed him one last time. He knows he did the right thing by rejecting Joaquin, but since then he’s witnessed a father killing his son and the reason he’s alone at home is because his own father is out at the Thornhill estate arresting Clifford Blossom. FP didn’t do it, like they’d all assumed. He wants Joaquin to know that, thinks Joaquin needs to have all the facts before he makes any more choices about how and where to lead his life.

He can’t remember whether a cell phone being unavailable means the number has been permanently deactivated or if Joaquin’s just turned it off for the time being, or if the reception is bad wherever Joaquin currently is. He can only hope the message reaches the other man before he completely forgets about Riverdale and one Kevin Keller, hurt and confused and missing his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. 

Kevin rolls over on his bed, and stares up at the ceiling. They may never have said it out loud, but it was clear that their relationship was over, what with Joaquin’s deceit being revealed and Kevin calling him a criminal. Joaquin didn’t once try to convince him they should stay together, or that their love could overcome anything. Kevin wouldn’t have let himself be convinced to stay together anyway, he has morals, and failing that, he has standards. Everyone else (read: two) that he has fooled around with has been deep inside the closet, but Kevin isn’t going to accept a criminal as a boyfriend just because he’s out. Maybe if he committed crimes like stealing Marc Jacobs suits, or scalped tickets to _Hamilton_ , but even then Kevin would feel guilty about it. It certainly wouldn’t be an advantage in the political career he’s started entertaining aspirations of.

But all that doesn’t change the fact that he wants to talk to Joaquin. Wants to tell him he knows he’s a good person inside even though that’s no longer a certainty, wants to hear Joaquin was telling him the truth about wanting to pick up a guitar and just play until he can’t remember what the punches he’s received and handed out sounded like. At the bus stop, Kevin had told Joaquin it was like he hardly knew him, but now Kevin wishes that some of what he does know is true. It feels like a hole inside of him, the place where he used to store his happy, stupid feelings about Joaquin away from reality. They’ve been ripped out of him and it hurts.

He tries calling Joaquin again, because forgetting his own feelings for a while is worth it when Joaquin’s whole future lies in the balance.

**

In the morning, things have completely changed, again. Clifford Blossom offed himself. FP is still in jail, and Kevin can’t help feeling vindicated at that. He likes Jughead, probably mostly because he’s Betty’s boyfriend, but FP is the reason Joaquin lied and led Kevin on, and for that he wants the gang leader to suffer. 

He’s only talked to Betty and Veronica through messages, both of them busy with their own drama to really sit down and talk. He gets it, but he’d love to talk to someone about all the confusing hurt and anger he’s feeling. Most of all he wants to talk to Joaquin. It’s one thing to break it off with a liar and see him off as he leaves town, it’s another to let the feelings you’ve nurtured and grown over months fade away. He’s used to caring for Joaquin, he _likes_ caring for him. 

“Why’d he have to be a jackass?” Kevin whispers to himself, still lying in bed with the covers drawn up to his shoulders. 

He startles when his phone rings. It’s an unknown number and he answers before he has time to think about it.

“H’llo?” Kevin clears his throat, half the word falling away.

“Kev?”

“Joaquin?”

“Hey. Uh… You called me. I didn’t know…” Joaquin hesitates. 

“It was Clifford Blossom!” Kevin blurts out. “It was Jason’s dad all along, he probably hired Mustang to help, but FP might’ve known, I don’t know, but Blossom hanged himself last night. He’s dead too.”

“Wh-what?”

“Yeah, it’s true. Did you listen to my message? There was a flash drive in the jacket, Betty found it and we…” Kevin trails off, remembering the horrific sight of a man killing his own child in cold blood. 

They’re both quiet for a moment, and when Joaquin speaks he sounds so tired, like he hasn’t slept in weeks, “So it wasn’t FP after all.”

“No. He’s still in custody though, for tampering with evidence, false testimony, obstructing justice, you name it. To be honest I think my dad’s happy to have the Serpents leader in jail. He’ll probably do his best to keep him there.” 

Joaquin sighs, “So much for going home.”

Kevin’s heart aches. The thought of Joaquin back with him, holding him, peppering kisses across his cheek, a warm hand snaking down Kevin’s pants… it makes his insides turn that he doesn’t get to have that. The fact that he even wants it at all only makes things worse. If anything, the hate he feels for what Joaquin did to him has grown over night. He’s such an idiot, believing someone other than his dad would put Kevin first. 

“Yeah.” Kevin swallows, hard. “We didn’t watch anything past the gun going off, I don’t know if you’re on it.”

“I probably am. Even if I’m not, with enough incentive and time, FP might talk after all. It’s not safe.”

“I know.” Kevin sighs. “My dad hasn’t said anything though, he would’ve recognized you in a heartbeat.”

Kevin had never properly introduced the two of them, but he’d told his father he was dating a guy called Joaquin from the Southside who was a few years older than Kevin. He’d even showed him a couple of pictures on his phone but he wasn’t close to revealing he was dating an actual Serpent. 

“Maybe he doesn’t know how to break the news about your boyfriend. I, uh…” Joaquin starts, but stops as there’s a sudden blare of noise beside him. The noise disappears but it’s still a long moment before he talks again. “If I had people, I would’ve wanted to tell them about you. Just so you know. You, uh, were so fucking awesome to me. I’m sorry I…”

It stings, being reminded of Joaquin’s betrayal. It had all unraveled so fast. Yesterday at this hour he had a boyfriend who treated him with respect and affection.

“I might, you know, believe you about that. Give me some time, and I might believe you.” Kevin says, fighting back tears. 

There’s another blare of noise on Joaquin’s end.

“Okay, where the hell are you?” Kevin has to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“We’re at some truck stop. Not in Cali yet.”

“Are you gonna stay there? In San Junipero, I mean.”

“Nah, I don’t think so. Might move around a little, just to make sure nothing’s gonna come up on me, you know? Go see the ocean.”

Kevin smiles, “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah. Look, I gotta go, but this is my new number. If you want it.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Kevin says, and then there’s just silence until Joaquin softly says goodbye.

He allows himself half an hour of feeling numb, cycling through anger and heartache. Then it’s nine o’clock and that’s far too late to start the day so he gets up and takes a shower. Kevin’s never really understood people that don’t like being productive members of society, who doesn’t want to do their part and work through clubs and societies to further their community. It hits him suddenly that he and Joaquin could never have a chance in the long run because Joaquin is neither a morning person nor committed to making Riverdale the best place to live on the whole darn planet.

After the shower he phones Betty and lets the scandalous gossip ease the hurt in his heart. He doesn’t tell her that he’s talked to Joaquin.

**

Kevin saves the new number as Santino. He doesn’t delete the old number, or the text conversations. Keeps all the dirty and flirty texts, looks through them when he gets bored. Betty catches him looking at a picture of Joaquin once. She sighs and gives him a look like she’s sad that he’s still missing him. Part of Kevin wants to jump at the chance to talk about him, talk about how his first real boyfriend tremendously screwed him over. But another part of him holds back, because he might slip up and tell her something new about him, and that could end up coming to FP’s knowledge, or to whomever it was that killed Mustang. No matter what his confusing feelings for Joaquin are, Kevin’s not going to be the reason he ends up dead in a motel bathtub.

Not that Joaquin lives in a motel. He’s a lodger with some old man who had taken one look at him and asked if he’d been inside and if he needed a fresh start. Joaquin had gone for the easy lie and agreed with assumption, and the man now lets him stay in his basement, complete with a tiny kitchenette and bathroom. Kevin knows this because they talk sometimes, or text. He gets the feeling Joaquin’s lonely. Sure, it sounds like he misses Kevin, actually misses seeing him and being with him, but there’s something about Joaquin’s stories that lets Kevin know he doesn’t really interact with anyone.

“You gonna tell me where you are this time?” Kevin asks about a month after it all went to hell.

Joaquin laughs softly, “New York.”

It was Montreal the last time Kevin asked. It’s always a new town, never the real place. Kevin understands that Joaquin is paranoid, but he’d like some peace of mind, somewhere to start looking if Joaquin suddenly becomes incommunicado. 

“Catch a Broadway show for me, will ya?” Kevin deadpans.

“You know we’re pretty much Danny and Sandy, right?” 

“Oh my God.” Kevin’s jaw drops. “That’s like, oh my God, that’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. And it’s so true! I can’t believe I doubted your homosexuality.” Kevin’s brain is firing on all cylinders, already imagining Joaquin exchanging his Serpents jacket for a T-Birds one, or trying different sports to impress Kevin. God, what he wouldn’t give for Joaquin just being any other classmate, joining the athletics team because he knows school clubs are important to Kevin.

“We could, uh, watch it?” Joaquin offers hesitantly, like he’s afraid he’s fucking up.

“You wanna watch _Grease_ with me? Now?” Kevin is so on for this. He can’t believe he never suggested watching one of his all-time favorite movies when they were going steady.

“I think it’s on Netflix.” Joaquin says, sounding more sure. “I got an iPad to watch stuff on.”

That’s how they end up watching _Grease_ on their iPads, while FaceTiming on their phones. It’s nice, and though it sucks that Joaquin’s not there with Kevin properly, his voice and breathing curls around Kevin’s body like a blanket. _Hopelessly Devoted To You_ has always brought Kevin to the brink of tears and this time they spill over. 

**

It’s not always like that. Sometimes Joaquin is drunk and tells Kevin more than he should about being a Serpent. There’s no way now for Kevin to deny that his boyfriend was always a criminal. Pressuring business owners to pay for protection and hauling heavy drugs from a drop-off to a repackaging site are crimes with long prison sentences.

It doesn’t enter Kevin’s mind to tell his dad, and he wonders what that means for his ideals of honesty and integrity. He guesses that a career in politics is more and more likely, what with the lying by omission he’s getting used to. His dad asks about Joaquin once, but Kevin tells him they broke up and that’s it. His dad never mentions or lets on whether Joaquin was on the flash drive or not. 

Kevin goes on a couple of dates because Betty and Veronica wants to see him move on, makes out with one guy and even lets a closet case suck his dick down by the river. He doesn’t go steady with anyone.

**

When spring is well and truly underway, Joaquin eases Kevin’s nerves by letting him know he’s working as a Miguel. Kevin has no idea what that is so Joaquin explains he’s a day laborer, doing anything from road construction, building projects, cleaning houses after water leaks and pretty much any other dirty, unforgiving job imaginable. The pay is lousy, but his landlord lets him pay half his rent by doing odd jobs around the house, sending him over to a neighbor once or twice. Joaquin hates it, but joining the biker gang he’s seen fly through town every so often is not an option, as too many questions would be asked about previous allegiances. 

“You gotta do something other than work all the time though.” Kevin leans back in his chair, Physics textbook abandoned for the moment. “Go out, have a beer. Use that fake ID.”

Joaquin snorts, “Having a beer is pretty much all you can do in this town.”

They’re FaceTiming on their iPads this time, and Kevin’s certain he won’t dare bring up cybersex this time either. He brings up the guitar he sees on Joaquin’s bed instead.

“You got a guitar?”

Joaquin glances over at the object in question, “Ben gave me it. Borrowed, I suppose. It’s his kid’s, but he’s doing time. Armed robbery.”

“Ah. That’s why he gave you a place for a fresh start.”

“Yup.” Joaquin agrees.

“You gonna play for me?”

It takes less cajoling than Kevin thought, maybe Joaquin is just that bored, but he’s soon fumbling through a song Kevin almost recognizes. It’s Jazon Mraz or Jack Johnson, maybe even Ryan Adams. One of those guys that all sound and look alike. It’s not Kevin’s usual choice in music, Miss Streisand is too vibrant to abandon even nowadays, but he likes it because it’s Joaquin playing. 

He plays three songs, and tries his hand Madonna’s _Don’t Tell Me_ , and Kevin gets a boner. It’s not like he can stop it, what with Joaquin’s quiet humming, his hands and arms flexing, a threadbare white t-shirt cutting down low past his collarbones. 

When Joaquin finally stops playing, laughing softly at himself, Kevin’s breathing hard.

Joaquin meets his eyes through the grainy camera. Kevin wets his lips, brings a hand up to his neck.

“You gonna make me say it?” Joaquin asks.

“Uhm…” Kevin’s never been shy talking about sex but this is a special situation.

“Come on, I serenaded you here, man. Don’t you think I should get to see some skin?”

Kevin rolls his eyes, “I wasn’t aware of a trade of services.”

“How about just making me happy then?” Joaquin suggests. “No demands, no deals. Just letting me see you because I’ve been thinking about making this call all day and thinking about putting you on your knees and driving my dick into you.”

“Oh God,” Kevin grabs at his sweater right above his heart, pulls at it. “Wow, it’s getting hot in here.”

“So take off all your clothes.” Joaquin quips, smirking at Kevin when he groans at the quote.

“Just for that I shouldn’t.”

“But you will. I’ll get us started.”

Kevin watches Joaquin easily take off his t-shirt and jeans and lie back on his bed. He positions the iPad near his right hip, and then practically sprawls back, chest on display with an arm slung behind his head giving his skin an extra stretch.

“Still so pale.” Kevin murmurs, watching Joaquin’s left hand tug on the bulge hidden by black briefs.

“Red and flushed where it counts, baby.”

Kevin’s dick jumps at the comment, and it’s all Kevin needs to finally lose his own clothes. He’s not as smooth about it, feels a little uncertain as always about undressing in front Joaquin. He steps out of the shot, hurrying over to close the curtains when he remembers he’s got neighbors. But the sweater goes, as does his chinos and the undershirt. He has trouble meeting Joaquin’s eyes when he’s settled on his bed.

“Come on, look at me. Look at me fisting my dick for you.”

Kevin cannot disobey that order, his own fist finding his hard cock when he sees Joaquin jerking himself, cock proudly sticking up from his briefs. Kevin pushes his briefs down and imagines Joaquin’s hand around him.

They’re quiet, mostly. Only their panting is heard, and the sound of flesh being stroked. Kevin lets out a few whimpers, especially when he has to watch Joaquin suck on his fingers. The angle isn’t great, but he can imagine it all perfectly in his mind, how warm Joaquin’s skin is and how wet his mouth is.

“Fuck, fuck.” Joaquin swears. “Wanna fuck you so bad. Put my hands on you, force you back on my dick.”

“Yes, please, want it.” Kevin whimpers, playing with his nipples. 

“Finger you ready and then just push in. Oh fuck, Kev, so close.”

“God, I wish you’d be my first.”

Joaquin let’s out a strangled gasp, “I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come.”

He’s the first to come a few seconds later, but Kevin is not far behind. 

As soon as he gets his bearings, Kevin feels embarrassed and nudges the tablet to the side. Joaquin protests, but Kevin doesn’t amend the situation. They’ve jerked each other off before, have seen each other in various states of undress, but that was months ago and Kevin was lost in a haze of lust and love. Now he was just horny. It’s not love anymore, that’s for sure.

“This is so confusing.” Kevin says into the air.

“I know.” Joaquin’s disembodied voice says.

“Did you know _The Lion King_ is based on _Hamlet_?”

Joaquin laughs, “What?”

“Not a lot of people know that.”

“Okay. So obviously I’m great at this thing if you’re thinking about animated Shakespeare.”

“Oh my God, someone should totally make an animated Shakespeare series!” Kevin moves the tablet back and they talk nonsense for a couple of minutes before they disconnect to clean themselves off.

He can’t help but hating himself a little for what they just did. He’s still so mad at Joaquin, won’t allow himself to forget he was taken for a fool, but here he is, jerking off thinking about Joaquin fucking him. His positive feelings for Joaquin aren’t as strong as they once were, but some are clinging to Kevin’s heart, getting more warped with every beat. 

Joaquin doesn’t call for nearly a month, and Kevin goes out with Howie from the year above on a couple of dates, attends a dance with him. It’s what he should be doing, but it doesn’t feel like it.

**

In the end, he has to tell Betty. Betty’s going to Washington D.C. for some internship at a women’s rights lobby group and he tells his dad she asked him if he wanted to tag along for the first week, have some fun just the two of them while she gets settled in. His dad probably realizes that’s not the whole truth, but he still agrees to let Kevin go.

Betty punches him repeatedly on the arm when he tells her she’s his alibi for going to see Joaquin.

“Joaquin? Your Serpent, murder accomplice ex-boyfriend? You’re using me to cover up the fact that you’re seeing him? So not cool, Kev.”

“I know it’s a big one, but I’ve covered for you more times than I care to remember.” Kevin reminds her.

“Yeah, but Joaquin?” Betty, to her credit, looks genuinely concerned. “Didn’t he leave town for, wait, have you been in touch with him this whole time? What about Howie? I swear to God, Kev.”

Kevin pats her head, “You’re a great friend, Betty-boo.”

She slaps his hand away, “Oh, hell no.”

But Betty surprisingly keeps her mouth shut, or so Kevin deduces when none of his other friends call to chew him out.

It’s Joaquin’s idea, Kevin coming out for a week during the summer, so that he can make sure in person that things on Joaquin’s end really are fine. They’ve been in touch less and less, and it feels like maybe they’re getting closer to a proper closure, but Kevin still doesn’t like not knowing where the other man is, how he’s getting along. 

He feels guilty about lying to his dad, but he thinks telling him he’s going to visit Joaquin will bring up a lot of red flags with the older Keller. He tells himself it’s better this way. 

Mrs. Cooper drives them to the airport, and Kevin and Betty fly the first leg together. At O’Hare they head in different directions, and Betty gives Kevin strict orders to be in touch when he lands, when Joaquin drives him off to wherever they’re going, and when they arrive at their final destination too. Her flight to DC is earlier than his to San Jose, so he has some time to play Candy Crush but he doesn’t fuck around on Instagram or Twitter because his dad follows him on all his social media, and Kevin’s kinda making his point for him what with secretly flying to California for a week. He’s turned off all geographical information about his activities but you can never be too sure, especially when your parent is a sheriff and has methods of finding you.

Joaquin meets him at the airport in San Jose and it’s so amazing and awkward to see him again. His hair is longer, and he even has a little beard going, but other than that he looks like Kevin remembers.

“Here I was, thinking you couldn’t look any hotter.” Kevin grins. 

Joaquin laughs, “Got that tan you were talking ‘bout.”

Kevin can’t help himself, and hugs Joaquin tight. Not as lovers but as if Joaquin’s a ghost he didn’t know he could touch or see in real life, as if he’s not just a figment of Kevin’s imagination. Joaquin holds him back too tightly, hands curving around Kevin’s shoulders, nose buried in his neck.

They don’t kiss.

They hold hands as Joaquin drives them north. He doesn’t mention where they’re going, and Kevin’s content to let it be a surprise now that he has Joaquin in front of him. He does note that they’re on the I-101 and that Joaquin is barely looking at the road signs which probably means they’ve got a long way to go. Conversation flows easily between them, like always. Kevin spends the first fifteen minutes or so commenting on Joaquin’s appearance, and the other man blushes sweetly at the attention. Then Kevin’s on to talking about his friends and all the crazy shit they had to deal with after Fred Andrews got shot. He’s mentioned it passing before, but their calls have mostly been a way to escape the insanity that’s beset Riverdale in the last months, so Joaquin ends up asking a lot of questions about details he hasn’t heard before, and Kevin likes hearing an outsider’s perspective on it.

Around two hours later they take a left off the interstate, and end up driving along the coast. Joaquin stops by a diner that offers an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean crashing into the Californian coast. They eat burgers and fries and stare out over the unforgiving waves.

“You learn to surf?” Kevin asks.

“Who says I didn’t already know?” Joaquin counters.

“Oh please, the way you dance, there’s no way you can balance enough to surf.”

Joaquin laughs, “Then allow me to doubt your skills too, Mr. Two Left Feet.”

“There might be two of them, but I never heard you complaining ‘bout the size.” Kevin raises an eyebrow.

Joaquin rolls his eyes, but catches Kevin’s right foot between his own. It feels like they’re on a date and if Kevin compartmentalizes a little, it’s just like going out for a meal with any other ex. Not that he really has any other exes, but still. 

They don’t stay long, Joaquin saying there’s still a long way to go. In the end they drive about the same distance they’ve already covered, until Joaquin finally signals a turn to enter an actual town, small as it is. It’s not right on the coast, surrounded by trees that are taller than Kevin can really fathom. When he says as much, Joaquin laughs.

“We’ll go to Shasta-Trinity Forest one day, you’ll flip.”

“I’d like that.” Kevin smiles, because he loves that they’re making plans. They were never all that good at making plans other than ‘meet me in an hour at the drive-in’.

Joaquin introduces Kevin to Ben, who’s in his fifties, with hair going white and a firm handshake. He hums a lot, and doesn’t ask that many questions. He invites them to have dinner with him, but Joaquin stutters out an apology, claiming they already have plans. Ben gives them an assessing look and nods.

“Later on in the week, then, once you’ve had some time to yourselves.” Ben says, graveled voice reverberating through the small hallway.

Joaquin nods and Kevin tries to look innocent.

“Hm.” Ben hums. “I think I’ll go to Melinda’s for grub tonight. Might stay late.” 

They stand there awkwardly as Ben pulls on a coat and straightens a well-worn 49’ers cap. He gives them a nod before stepping out the door, whistling to himself.

“Sooo…” Kevin starts.

“He’s a cool dude.” Joaquin says. “Maybe a little too… uh, perceptive.”

“You think?” 

Joaquin leads him back outside and around to the back of the house, where some stone steps dig into the ground and lead to the basement door.

“Home, sweet home.” Joaquin says, holding the door open for Kevin.

“Oh wow, this is bigger than I thought.” Kevin says, dropping his messenger bag by the wall. He looks around at the wooden paneling, the many windows near the ceiling that undoubtedly let in a lot of light during the day. There’s a small fridge in the kitchenette and a table for two. There’s also a bed that will easily fit them both, and the sofa looks very comfortable. 

“It, uh, folds out.” Joaquin says, “If you…”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know if…” Kevin keeps his eyes on the sofa because he can’t meet Joaquin’s gaze. 

Joaquin puts down Kevin’s carry-on bag, “I’ve got frozen pizza we can put in the microwave.”

“Great.”

It’s pretty damn late and Kevin’s tired after travelling for a whole day. While Joaquin heats up the pizza, Kevin takes a shower in a bathroom so small he can hardly move for fear of falling over the toilet. No shower sex, then, Kevin laughs to himself, and feels a spark rip through him as he thinks of the other places they could have sex. The bed, obviously, the sofa, the floor, against the wall, on the stairs. They’ll have to be quiet about it, if Ben’s in the house. Or maybe they should sneak out, like they did in Riverdale. 

Kevin stops daydreaming when he realizes he’s growing hard. He turns the water cold for a few seconds before turning it off altogether.

They eat sitting on the sofa while listening to some music Joaquin plays through his iPad. 

“You tired?” Joaquin asks.

“Yeah, long day. Travel, ugh.” Kevin grimaces. “You drove all that way down today too, huh?”

“Yeah, started at the crack of dawn.” Joaquin says. “Can I jerk you off?”

“Joaquin!” Kevin clutches his chest, scandalized. 

“Preppy.” Joaquin deadpans, giving him a look that starts out amused but turns heated. His eyes travel from Kevin’s face to his crotch.

“Uhm, I…” 

Joaquin wipes his hands on a paper towel, moves so that he’s right next to Kevin. Kevin swallows, eyes fixed on Joaquin’s wide blue ones. 

Joaquin kisses him and Kevin sinks into it, burying his hands in Joaquin’s hair as he pulls him closer. Joaquin’s hands grope along Kevin’s stomach, and after a minute he has one of them snaked down Kevin’s khakis. Kevin gasps at the touch, angling into Joaquin’s body.

“Yeah, come on.” Kevin says into Joaquin’s neck, licking at it. He keeps sucking and kissing at Joaquin’s warm skin as the other man fists his dick, a sure drag of his hand up and down Kevin’s proud manhood. He doesn’t know when Joaquin made his hand slick with something, but he did and it feels so good sliding over his engorged cock. 

Joaquin taps Kevin’s hip. He lifts up, making it easier for Joaquin to push Kevin’s khakis and briefs down to his knees. Joaquin only teases a little, walking his fingers up Kevin’s dick, then he’s back to stroking it with strong, confident tugs. He doesn’t forget about Kevin’s balls, fondling them with his free hand. 

“Oh God, oh God.” Kevin whispers in-between pants, one arm around Kevin’s shoulders, the other along the back of the couch. “Yeah, please.”

“Wanna come?” Joaquin asks, eyes blown wide, lips red from where he’s biting them.

“Yeah, yes.” Kevin shoves one of his hands under his sweater, rubbing his nipple. “Oh God.”

Joaquin smiles, and leans in for a bruising kiss. Kevin is so close, ramming his hips into Joaquin’s hand. Joaquin must object, because he moves to straddle Kevin’s lap, holding him down. Kevin moans at the weight, at Joaquin’s long hair falling down over Kevin’s face and tickling him. Joaquin spits in his hand before getting it back on Kevin’s balls, and then it’s just a matter of speed and inelegance before Kevin explodes over Joaquin’s hand, white, thick globs pushing past the cracks between his fingers. 

They kiss, and something loosens in Kevin’s chest. He’s gonna let Joaquin fuck him before he goes back to Riverdale. He was sort of planning on it all along, but now there’s nothing he’s more sure of. It doesn’t matter whether he loves or hates Joaquin, he’s the only person Kevin wants to share it with. Maybe it’s what Kevin needs to finally let go.

**

It doesn’t happen the next day. They walk around town, and Joaquin drives him to a bee farm and another farm where an old man has turned his home into a huge model railway exhibition where every room has a different theme. Joaquin buys him a soda from the man’s fridge and Kevin donates 10 dollars in the jar up front. Stavros, the railway builder, waves them goodbye and tells them to come again.

They have dinner with Ben, and retire early, sucking each other off before falling asleep cuddled up close.

**

They go to the Shasta-Trinity Forest. Kevin nearly falls over trying to follow the closest tree all the way to the top with his eyes. Joaquin catches him and laughs. The following kiss is an easy thing. They walk around for a bit, and it’s the closest thing to a spiritual awakening Kevin has experienced. All the nonsense and insanity of Riverdale means nothing here, means nothing to these trees and mountains. These living, breathing things have seen so much before, and will still be here long after Kevin leaves this place, leaves this world. He hopes they’ll remember him, but he doubts it. He says a small prayer, thanking Mother Nature for allowing him to see it.

He sits down at some park benches, scribbles in his notebook. Joaquin listens to some podcast he likes, anonymous stories from around the country. Kevin thinks he likes it because he’ll always have to be anonymous now. Might get away with saying his name, but can never say where he’s from or what he’s done. 

They get back late, having stopped at yet another diner for their evening meal. The lights are out in the house, so they don’t bother checking in with Ben, instead they head directly to the basement entrance in the back. Kevin flicks on the light, kicks off his shoes and yawns.

There are no flowers or candles in the room, but Joaquin powers up his iPad and puts on some soft guitar music and it’s such crappy romance, and so them, that Kevin gets emotional from just being in the room. Joaquin closes the blinds but leaves the light on.

Kevin sits down on the bed, looking on as Joaquin turns around. Their gazes meet, and it’s like a low burning fire ignites between them. The room feels so much smaller now, the air warmer and with every step Joaquin takes, it gets harder for Kevin to focus his thoughts on anything but the other man’s narrow waist and strong shoulders. Joaquin undresses as he goes, getting rid of his leather jacket, his hoodie and t-shirt before pulling down the zipper on his jeans. He stops in front of Kevin, an arm’s distance away. All the while he’s kept his eyes on Kevin, made him feel like he was the one undressing. Kevin has no illusions about what Joaquin can see on his face, the naked desire and the trembling nerves. 

Joaquin’s eyes burn into Kevin’s skin as the latter has to follow the sound of that zipper with his eyes, swallowing as Joaquin’s jeans fall easily off his hips, black boxer briefs tenting at the front. Kevin breathes heavily at the intoxicating idea that Joaquin is already hard for him, wants him on this bed, might have thought about it all day while Kevin was distracted, maybe snuck glances at him and thought about thrusting his dick inside him.

“I,” Kevin swallows, “I always wanted you to be my first.”

Joaquin reaches out, cradles Kevin’s cheek, “I know. I wanted that too.”

“You, uh…”

Shaking his head, Joaquin says, “Still like back then. I haven’t been with anyone since I left. So I still never had a dick in me.” He leans down, kisses Kevin gently, “Never fucked a guy. But I want you. Want you to sit on my dick. Will you, please?”

Kevin’s breath catches, coming undone at Kevin’s gentleness combined with the nasty words. “Yeah, yeah, I will. Fuck me.”

Joaquin pushes in for a kiss, much less gentle this time, and climbs up to sit in Kevin’s lap. Kevin lets Joaquin take the lead, holds his arms up as Joaquin pushes at his sweater, revealing Kevin’s pale torso. 

“You’re fucking hot.” Joaquin grins, shoving Kevin down on the bed and moving up his body. 

They make out like that for a while, Joaquin deciding the pace and slickness of the kiss, grinding his body down on Kevin’s. Kevin strokes his hands up and down Joaquin’s sides, finding the ways he can make the other man moan and hiss. It’s exciting and Kevin almost forgets he’s nervous. But when Joaquin unbuckles Kevin’s belt he’s hit by a wave of anxiety and falls out of the kiss.

“Okay, Preppy?” Joaquin asks, sitting back up. When Kevin won’t meet his gaze, he reaches out, turning Kevin’s face so he has to look at him. “It’s just me.”

Kevin nods.

Joaquin shuffles back a little, sitting across Kevin’s thighs. As he opens Kevin’s jeans and tugs them down, he keeps up a steady stream of lustful praise, “You look just like I want you to. Hot, sexy, hard. Your dick is gonna taste so good. Your hole will be so tight for me. I want that so bad, Preppy, to fuck you like you deserve. Want you to remember it.”

Kevin’s dick grows harder and darker, only smarting a little when Joaquin pulls down his briefs, stepping off Kevin for a moment to toss all their clothes to the side. He’s naked when he slides back down on Kevin’s body, making both of them moan as they move awkwardly to find a good position. When they manage to make their dicks bump into one another instead of their knees, Kevin’s rock hard in a second.

“Fuck, yeah, God.” Kevin swears, arms tight around Joaquin’s neck. “Kiss me.”

Joaquin moves from where he’s been nuzzling Kevin’s armpit to Kevin’s mouth and the kiss is hot with promise, tongue coaxing moans and whines from Kevin. It doesn’t take long for Joaquin to move on with it, placing his abused lips on Kevin’s nipple instead. 

“Oh, Joaquin, yes, do that.” Kevin buries his hands in his lover’s hair. 

Joaquin holds a hand up to Kevin’s mouth and he’s seen enough porn to know what he’s supposed to do. He licks it, making sure the palm is wet, and sucks on Joaquin’s fingers because he feels like having something in his mouth. 

When Joaquin starts stroking him, Kevin thinks he’ll come right then and there. A mouth on his nipple and a hand on his cock is too much to handle. “Fuck, Joaquin, I’m gonna come.”

Joaquin raises his head, “Do you want to?”

“Can I come on you?” Kevin asks, feeling his face flush even more than it already has. 

Joaquin’s only response is to smirk at him, moving around so he’s flat on the mattress. Kevin grins, and laughs happily. He awkwardly gets to his knees, straddles the other man’s chest. Joaquin puts his hand on him again, but this time Kevin joins him and guides the strokes. 

The sight of Joaquin glistening with a light sheen of sweat, hair messed up from Kevin’s hands and lips wet from spit is enough in itself. Then Joaquin takes his hand away from Kevin’s throbbing cock, and puts it to better use on his ass instead. Kevin’s thighs shake when Joaquin grabs both his cheeks, spreading them and pushing them together, playing with them and making Kevin lose his mind. Joaquin laughs sweetly when he hears Kevin moan at the attention his ass getting, making Kevin glare for a second. 

When it finally becomes too much it’s when Joaquin sucks his thumb wet and slides it over Kevin’s hole. He never quite makes it inside but he fools around with the entrance enough to make Kevin’s desire coil and release like spring and he spurts all over Kevin’s chest, marking him up with his jizz. He’s never looked more beautiful. 

Fingering, in preparation to get fucked, Kevin learns, is frustrating and takes some time. With experience he probably won’t need quite as long, but both he and Joaquin mumble about how long it’s taking, though Joaquin is adamant they do this right.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Preppy.” Joaquin says, and a look passes between them where they know they’re both thinking of the way Joaquin has already hurt him. 

Kevin’s so damn lucky he chose Joaquin to be his first. Lube and condoms are next to them on the bed now, Joaquin having taken them out after he’d cleaned his chest with some tissues. They’d taken some time to kiss and catch their breaths before Kevin awkwardly mentioned how it’s supposed to be easier the first time bottoming if you’re on your hands and knees. With a tender smile, Joaquin had helped him up and started fingering him. 

Kevin groans as Joaquin nudges his prostate again. Three fingers hurt like a motherfucker and he has no idea how Joaquin’s thick, angry cock is going to fit inside him but he’s determined to give it a go.

He feels so exposed with his bare ass in the air for Joaquin to fondle and stare at, but when Joaquin’s fingers fuck his hole, there’s nothing he wishes for more than to see it himself. Joaquin seems to get the hang of finding Kevin’s prostate, and Kevin is ever so happy about it, because the waves of lust, desire and satisfaction that flow from his abdomen throughout his body is worth all the awkward fumbling. His dick starts to fill out again. 

“Yeah, that feel good?” Joaquin asks, voice almost gone.

“Yeah, that, when you crook your fingers, yeah, just like that.” Kevin moans, spreading his legs. 

“Shit, I think you’re ready for my cock. You want my cock, Preppy?”

“Fuck me. Now.”

Joaquin groans, tugging his fingers loose in a way that makes Kevin hiss in pain. But Joaquin doesn’t seem to notice, busy getting a condom and rolling it on. “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll lube us up.”

Kevin hisses again as the cold gel is spread over his entrance and the very start of his inside walls. He tries to relax, breathes evenly. He manages to not freeze up as Joaquin puts his dick against his asshole. Joaquin bends over and kisses his shoulder, Kevin twisting so they can lock lips for a moment. That’s when Joaquin pushes forward the first time. 

It’s too much.

It takes them a number of minutes of prodding and pushing, a few snappish words and lots of caressing from Joaquin before he’s finally breached Kevin’s entrance.

“Oh God, oh…” Kevin pants, hands gripping the sheets like a vice. 

It gets both worse and better. Once Joaquin can get his whole dick in, it’s wonderful, feeling that rod of flesh up his ass, Joaquin’s skin slapping against his and knowing that what they’re doing is debauched and dirty, but before that, and when Joaquin doesn’t remember to be gentle with his pounding, it hurts like hell and makes Kevin worry he’ll split in two. 

Joaquin is hard as fuck, and his hands on Kevin’s body are hard too, gripping his sides tight. “Fuck, Kev, you’re so tight, like you’re my virgin, you’re mine. You like it, huh?”

“I’d like it better if you fucked me long and hard.” Kevin says, surprising himself.

Joaquin pauses. “You want that?” He shoves his way deeper inside, until Kevin’s ass is cradled against his pelvis. “Want it long?” He pulls out, ever so slowly, until just the head is inside, spreading Kevin wide. “Want it hard?” He pushes back in, and they both moan loud enough to stop abruptly. They burst out laughing, and have to fight to keep that down too. Neither of them has spared a thought to the outside world since they entered the basement but they should probably try to remember there is another person in the same house as them. 

The music that’s been playing starts over from the beginning then, and so do the lovers. Joaquin makes his strokes long and firm, Kevin moves with him and focuses on the whirling sensations tossing his nerves all out of whack, chasing his climax just like Joaquin is chasing his. 

“You close?” Kevin asks.

Joaquin chuckles, “So fucking close. This is just me trying to impress, I wanted to come five minutes ago.”

Kevin spreads himself out on the bed. “Come on.”

Joaquin comes first, and turns Kevin over so he can finish the younger man off with a blowjob. It’s fantastic, and when the rolling feelings of sunshine and energy fade away, everything below his navel hurts and Kevin wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

At first Kevin insists they don’t shower, but in the end they have to because it’s just too uncomfortable to be covered in jizz, sweat and spit. 

After separate showers and a bottle of water each, they fall asleep turned into one another, eyes locked until they can’t keep them open anymore. 

**

He’s there for the rest of the week. They drive out to the coast one day, and step into the cold water. Another day, Kevin tags along as Ben and Joaquin visit Bella Mae, their closest neighbor. He and Joaquin spread out some soil for her in the garden, though it’s really Joaquin that does it while Kevin tries not to step in it. 

The last night they sit in the backyard and drink beer that Ben got them. They’ve kept to blowjobs and handjobs since the other night, but that night they try anal again, and the fingering prep is just as awkward and frustrating but they find their rhythm faster and discover some better positions even if Kevin stays on his hands and knees. 

**

Joaquin drives him down to San Jose. It’s a silent ride, yet more of that melodic guitar music that Kevin doesn’t really recognize filling the void of the words they won’t say. It’s a long ride, and it feels even longer this time. Kevin wants to cry when the signs for San Jose get more prevalent. He’s not in love with Joaquin anymore, but the finality of that insight hurts. The realization that he’s done hating him is easier to handle.

Before walking away from the curb Joaquin is parked at in the airport drop-off zone, Kevin pulls him in and kisses him. 

“Take care.” Kevin says quietly.

“You too, Preppy.”

Kevin smiles, fighting back the tears for real. “You ever need me…”

“Yeah. Same.” Joaquin kisses him, slow and sure. 

Kevin pulls away when an airport steward yells about not parking too long. He laughs, not knowing what to do. “Well. Bye.”

Joaquin smiles, “Bye, Kev.”

Kevin nods, takes his carry-on and walks away. He doesn’t look back because he doesn’t want to cry. He knows they’ll never meet again, is prepared for Joaquin to ditch his phone and move to another town. That’s Joaquin’s right. He needs to forget everything about Riverdale, and Kevin is probably the most important thing tying him to that godforsaken hellhole. 

But it’s Kevin’s hellhole, and he’s going back, because fucked up is what fucked up does. He grins at himself, no wonder he wanted a criminal to take his virginity. Riverdale is in his blood, he’s bound to be a little crazy. He takes out his phone while waiting in line for the security checkpoint and that’s when he sees the text from Veronica. 

“Oh fun,” he mutters to himself, “here we go again.” 

Another day, another Riverdale mess to clean up. 

**Author's Note:**

> "Proud manhood", heh.


End file.
